Living Bereaved While in Recovery by Betty-Lou Kristy  is an urban, artsy, honest, often raw and very real depiction of tragedy & triumph that does deliver hope while allowing the reader to cycle through the stages of grief, the polarities of darkness & light and the devastating impact of both mental health and addiction. An experiential journey of grief expression, exploration and integration has 55 entries set in verse, soulful dialogue, prose and musings; chock full of pictures, illustrations and colour that invites the reader into a depth of emotional engagement which is not possible to articulate in spoken word. That of a mother (Betty-Lou) grieving the loss of her beloved son (Pete) and all the searing dynamics of a child lost to prescription opiate medication addiction (oxycontin), alcoholism, unresolved mental health issues and fatal accidental mixed drug overdose. A generational process that has torn and stained the fabric of family unit for each previous generation as mother and son were trapped in the continuing cycle and not able to break it soon enough…and that cost Pete his life. Sometimes raw, it honestly depicts the struggles of a mother living in recovery from her own mental health and addiction issues trying to hold on without relapsing as she battles the relentless pain/grief of losing her cherished son while fully recognizing that had Pete been able to have his healthy mom sooner in his earlier years, she may have been able to provide a healthier foundation that is imperative for any child. The dedication and love between a mother and her child is fully realized and even though they both desperately tried to source help and hope for each other…in the end the pureness of intention and love was not enough.

This captivating dialogue takes the reader through so many stages of acute grief; from shock & denial, anger & rage, profound devastation but also allows the reader to be a part of the latter stages of the grief process-integration, resolution and enlightenment as one bears witness to the unfolding of deep connection that is possible even within the structure of physical death. The ability for a mother and child to hold on to each other and let their love-soul connection lead them is staggering and profound. This expression of vulnerability and dedication is not intended just for those dealing directly or indirectly with bereavement issues and in fact may be too intense for the newly bereaved. It is for anyone who has dealt with any type of mental health, addiction, trauma and/or loss of any kind either for themselves personally or a loved one that has been affected. It is also applicable for professionals working within the mental health, addictions, trauma and/or bereavement field as this testament of lived experience can showcase the depth of painful saturation that a client often cannot express for many reasons. For those who have NOT been affected with any of these devastating life experiences this read allows one to step inside two juxtaposing life paths and provide an understanding of the emotional devastation, family unit breakdown and carnage that can occur even with the purest of intentions. Any demographic of reader should be able to draw out little nuggets of emotional engagement that is applicable and be left with a deeper understanding of many powerful dynamics. This creation has been kept “real” with its true intent to honour a lost son while daring to share and expose mistakes, poor choices, vulnerabilities and times of debilitating desperation in hopes of nurturing that deeper understanding to help break the stigma and resulting isolation that traps us deeper into our cycles. The overall message of hope, survival and triumph is well engrained. The reader will recognize the astounding ability of the human spirit to rise from the ashes, find peace in the chaos, new strengths from the horrors and the true gift of enlightenment that can be realized. (File Size: 4 MB)

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Betty-Lou Kristy was awarded the 2009 Centre for Addiction & Mental Health (CAMH) Transforming Lives Award. Betty-Lou has lived in Georgetown, Ontario Canada for 25 years. Being a child of alcoholic parents resulted in a chaotic and dysfunctional childhood which left her severely traumatized. Betty-Lou is a survivor of both mental illness and addictions. She also experienced two abusive marriages when she was younger before finding her current husband (24 years ago) whom she is still happily married to. After years of fighting back, Betty-Lou started to take control of her life but, sadly, her son Peter (Kristy) Beattie (and the love of her life) was losing control of his. Pete struggled with many mental health issues and became addicted to both alcohol and prescription opiate pain medication (percocet and oxycontin). On December 23, 2001-at age 25-Pete died from an accidental mixed drug overdose (oxycontin & psychiatric medications). Having lost her only living child to the same illnesses that she fought for much of her life, Betty-Lou is an outspoken advocate and key-note speaker both provincially and within the Regions of Halton and Peel for Mental Health, Addictions, Trauma and Bereavement reform. These tough issues need to be expressed so others can feel safe and be safe by reducing the isolation, shame, stigma and barriers. Raising awareness, educating, promoting diversity, social inclusion and non-oppressive approaches is key as these are complex community and social issues that effective us all whether directly or indirectly. Sharing her journey and her late son's journey, both publicly as a speaker and around many committee tables, for both youth and adults through Ministry of Health, Mississauga/Halton LHIN, Region of Halton, Centre For Addiction & Mental Health (CAMH) and other Government and Halton Community agencies allows that dialogue to happen.

Betty-Lou is also a board director and peer support bereavement facilitator for Bereaved Families of Ontario (Halton/Peel Affiliate) and has past training and experience in hospice/grief support programs, has designed and facilitated bereavement trainings for youth to youth outreach workers plus trained and volunteered within Children's Aid Society, Restorative Justice, Aboriginal communities, Conflict mediation and completed the Halton Citizen’s Police Academy program. Both Betty-Lou’s and her late son Pete’s lived experience has been published in publications such as CAMH Community Planning Guide, CAMH Breakthrough newsletter, CAMHtogether campaign, Ministry Of Health’s draft paper EVERY DOOR IS THE RIGHT DOOR- 10 year plan for Mental Health and Addiction, Canada’s Health-Care Hospital News, Ministry of Health’s New Direction Edition and has had several of her earlier poems published in The Undercroft- A Halton POSSE Project Youth Publication. Betty-Lou and her late son have been featured in several Halton Region newspaper articles such as: Georgetown Independent - “Local Woman to be Honoured For Fight Against Addiction”; “Council Hears Mother’s Plea For Methadone Treatment”; “Grief 411: Local Woman To Speak at Bereavement Workshop” plus other similar articles in Oakville, Burlington, Brampton and Mississauga, Ontario papers. Many Canadian Newswires picked up “Ontario Health Minister Says Mental Health Should Be More Accessible”- an article that featured Betty-Lou who spoke at the Minster’s summit attended by over one thousand people. One of Betty-Lou’s most recent opportunities was being the key note speaker for an addiction recovery event in Manitoulin Island for First Nations, co-facilitating an educational event regarding the exploding health crisis of prescription opiate pain medication addiction with Dr. Peter Selby, the head of addictions for CAMH. Another was an invite to be a keynote speaker at an upcoming Distinguished Speakers Event regarding the family dynamics of mental health, concurrent disorders, coping with grief and care giving for two Durham Region events in Ontario.

After the death of her 25 year old son to a mixed drug overdose, which was preceded by the death of his twin (Baby Bear) who died during the third trimester of her pregnancy plus the death of both of her parents, Betty-Lou had to search for meaning in all this. This was the catalyst that catapulted her into and onto her current life path. Betty-Lou wishes to empower others through her speaking engagements and writing. LittleBooksOfBigPain.com 

The Author, Betty-Lou Kristy, will donate partial proceeds to Bereaved Families of Ontario (Halton/Peel).